I haven’t written in quite some time. I almost feel like a Catholic going in for confession for the first time in years… But when my days are filled with critical drug shortages, funding concerns, and feeling helpless and frustrated, it’s hard to write about “saving the world”. Some days I feel like I’m barely treading water. But I’ve gotten so used to “Haiti life”, that sometimes I forget that “treading water” to me is moving at lightning speed for the rest of the world. And that sometimes I ought to take my own advice, and remember “the starfish story”.
For those of you not familiar with it, here’s “the starfish story”…
There is a big storm, and thousands of starfish are washed ashore; the sand is literally covered in a blanket of them. Along the beach wanders a little boy, picking up starfish and throwing them as hard as he can, sending them sailing back into the safety of the water. An older gentleman is watching the young boy, and after a while, he says, “What’s the use? It’s a futile effort – there are so many of them, you’ll never make a difference.” The little boy bends over and picks up another starfish, and throws it sailing into the ocean, watching as it twirls in the air, then plops beneath the waves. He turns and looks at the old man and says to him “It made a difference to that one.”
Nine months ago, the country of Haiti experienced an earthquake of such magnitude, it will take years – maybe even generations – to recover. After the quake, people from all over the globe opened their hearts and helped the people affected by the devastation. The people of Haiti are so grateful, and have shown such gratitude, but they are also frustrated and there is (understandably) unrest – so much aid has been promised that hasn’t been delivered. Nine months after the quake, well into hurricane season, 1.7 million people are still living in tent cities. Children go hungry, and illnesses go untreated, sometimes until it’s too late. Many of the NGOs who came down after the quake have pulled out (primarily due to a lack of funding), leaving a heavier patient burden for those of us who are left.
This is my day to day life – using my “food money” to buy vancomycin off the streets, and making the tough decisions when no more is to be found, begging for diapers for our preemies and ensure for our tube feed patients, and assisting other NGOs on my days off… As the only American pharmacist who “calls Haiti home”, there is no lack of work to be found…
But my day to day life is also being serenaded at 1am in the logistics room, having a terminally ill girl hug me and tell me she loves me for taking care of her, waking up grateful for a roof over my head – in a way that most Americans will never understand – and finding crazy MacGyver solutions to save the day. And while most people get a postcard from coworkers on vacation that say “on the beach, wish you were here”, I often get messages like this one from the other day: “This is to let you know that I am not the only one that you lack, but rather Project Medishare can not live without you. Miss you much Princess, Marc-Junior”…
I am touched, moved, and inspired by everything – the patients, my employees, the work I do. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
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